Why a core of character, caring wins in the long run
“You can’t be a leader around here until your ego eats your brain.”
This frank observation, imparted to me early in my tenure at Pacific Gas and Electric by a senior leader in the California utility, has stuck with me throughout my career, not only for its darkly catchy phrasing but also for its undeniable accuracy in that organization.
In those days, what we would now consider corporate bullying was often tolerated and even rewarded with promotions and bonuses. The upper ranks included accomplished people with big titles who crushed those reporting to them.
Back then, when I looked up the corporate ladder, I didn’t see enough examples of leaders with what I call a “core of character.” They weren't caring. They weren't necessarily trustworthy. And they often didn’t make the best decisions for their teams or their customers. They were in it for themselves–and encouraged to be.
Admittedly, that was a long time ago, more than 30 years. I’d love to think that this leadership style is a remnant of a colder, crueler era, that we’ve moved into an age that is more empathetic, people-focused, and collaborative.
It’s interesting and instructive to look at the tale of two leadership styles emerging in the U.S. presidential election. As an American living in Canada, I’ve been dismayed at times by the incivility and even cruelty that’s crept into our politics. But I’m also inspired and encouraged by the clear signs that empathy, caring and character are alive and well.
Monday night of the Democratic National Convention, I found myself nodding along to the burn-burning speech by Steve Kerr, the coach who’s taken the NBA’s Golden State Warriors to four championships and recently returned from the Paris Olympics, where the U.S. basketball squad got the gold. The guy knows a thing or two about leadership!
“I believe leaders must display dignity. I believe that leaders must tell the truth,” Steve said. “I believe that leaders must care for and love the people that they are leading.”
This is the core of leadership in any arena: sports, politics, business, and even our homes.
Toxic memories
The election has caused me to reflect back on some of the worst leaders I’ve met. J.R. is probably the worst, the embodiment of toxic behavior.
This is how he opened daily meetings with his department managers, who were expected to yell at their teams to prove their competence: “You need to go out and kick somebody's ass today.”
Yep, that was his version of “good morning.” Dude, can I get a coffee first? To him, being loud and intimidating was synonymous with being effective. I think he got his leadership lessons from Hulk Hogan!
J.R. was a neat freak who lost it when anything violated his sense of order. One day, after work hours, he went down to the construction crew offices, ripped all of the maps (this was before GPS and digital mapping tools) off the walls, and stuffed them in the garbage. I guess he didn’t like the way they looked!
When the construction crews arrived the following day to prepare for their work in the field, they had to dumpster dive to retrieve their maps.
Another time, a few days after my group moved to a new office space, my colleague, Charlie, came into my office, practically in tears. “Where's my stuff?” he asked. Once I calmed him down, he explained that his collection of family photos and personal items decorating his desktop and cubicle was… gone. After the incident with the missing maps, I had a hunch about where to look first. Sure enough, we ended up in the dumpster behind the office building, where we found his family pictures, along with a bunch of other personal belongings. Again, J.R. had swept through like a hurricane the night before, taking stuff off people's desks that he didn't think ought to be there, callously tossing them. I was starting to think he should set up his office in there!
Anyhow, that did it for Charlie. All of a sudden, this incredibly loyal, talented, hard-working team member essentially said, “screw it.”He started coming in precisely at eight o'clock and leaving at five when he’d lock his pictures and belongings in his desk. In the morning, he’d start his day by taking everything back out, dusting and cleaning to make his point, before laying it all out on his desk. Only then would he go to visit customers. It wasn’t long before he moved on, which was a stupid loss of a great team member.
Bob, our transportation manager, responsible for a fleet of around 150 vehicles, was another favorite target of J.R.’s, who insisted the trucks be spotless, a challenging standard in the primarily rural, dusty Central Valley.
One day, J.R. decided to hold a fleet examination, like a military inspection. Bob and his team worked their butts off to get their vehicles gleaming. After passing a half-dozen trucks, J.R. suddenly stopped, yelling at Bob, “What's wrong with this truck? What’s wrong with this truck?”
The rest of us assembled there shrugged. We looked at the gleaming half-ton and couldn’t see anything wrong with it.J.R.’s beef was that the license plate was on the right side of the bumper instead of the left, like the other vehicles.
The next day, I was in J.R.’s office when Deb, our human resources manager, came in to speak with him. She sat down and got right to the point: “I just have one question: What's your theory of how to lead people?”J.R. didn’t hesitate: he grabbed a Sharpie out of his drawer, put it in his palm, and started twisting–hard.“You crank it down, and crank it down, and crank it down,” he said as he drilled the pen into his reddening hand. “And when it's just about tight enough, you give it one turn more.”
(You can’t make this stuff up!)
Deb looked him straight in the eye. “Well, I'm just wondering,” she asked, “what happens if you strip the screw?” Two weeks later, Deb was transferred out of the division.
I’ll be the first to admit that J.R.’s dictatorial leadership was extreme. These stories are not the norm I see in my clients or corporate culture at large, but they are real. And as we have seen in politics, the slip from integrity, decency, respect, and trust can happen very quickly.
But there is an alternative, embodied by leaders like Steve Kerr, and in businesses everywhere. I know many of you, like me, still believe in the marrow of your bones, that people are the most important thing, that caring matters, and that it’s not naive to think that we can be both profitable AND humane.
I’ll end with a line from Steve Kerr’s DNC speech that says it best.
“Leadership, real leadership, is not the kind that seeks to divide us,” he said, “but the kind that recognizes and celebrates our common purpose.”
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