Courageous Communication Starts Here: A Primer on Managing Conflict at Work

After more than two decades on the frontlines of emergency response and industrial safety, I’ve learned a thing or two about hard conversations. As a former paramedic and health and safety leader in industry, I’ve had to deliver difficult messages and directives to people in high-stress, high-stakes situations. Often, there was no time to sugarcoat it.

That experience taught me one of the most important lessons in leadership: the first 30 seconds of a tough conversation matter more than anything.

That insight is at the heart of Whitewater's Courageous Communications program, which I now help lead. The program is part of our curriculum for Just Lead, WhiteWater’s signature leadership development program, and it's designed to equip leaders with the skills to navigate conflict with confidence and care.

Why We Avoid Conflict (And Why That’s a Problem)

Let’s face it: most of us hate conflict. In a recent webinar I hosted, entitled "Courageous Communications Tips for Women in the Workforce," we asked participants to share what comes to mind when they hear the word. The answers included “drama”, “frightening”, “stress”, “avoidance”, “misunderstanding”, and “tension.”

These replies reflect the discomfort that most of us feel about conflict, as well as our negative associations with it. No wonder “avoidance” was one of the top answers. 

Avoiding conflict may feel good in the moment, but it creates long-term problems, including misalignment, resentment, and broken trust.

The good news? You can get better at it. Courageous communication is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned, worked on, and improved.

Understanding Conflict Styles: The Thomas-Kilmann Model

A helpful starting point is understanding how you (and your team members) tend to approach conflict. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument outlines five typical styles:

1. Competing (my way or the highway)

2. Accommodating (it would be my pleasure)

3. Avoiding (let’s not talk about it)

4. Collaborating (two heads are better than one)

5. Compromising (let’s make a deal)

There’s no right or wrong style, but knowing your default setting helps you pivot when a different approach is called for. In the webinar, one participant noted they might “compete” in one situation and “compromise” in another. That’s exactly right. Awareness creates choice.

Mastering the First 30 Seconds

This is my favourite tactic—and the one I rely on most. Start the conversation with clarity. It doesn’t need to be harsh, but it does need to be direct. "Here’s what I’m seeing, and here’s what I’d like to talk about." That’s it. Getting it out early helps you stay focused and lowers anxiety.

In fact, I believe in this so much that I raised my daughters on a version of it. We call it the "20 seconds of courage" rule: be brave long enough to get started, and you’ll almost always be glad you did.

A Framework for Courageous Communication

In the communications module of Just Lead, we teach a three-part framework to structure productive, respectful conflict:

1. Prepare for Success: Know your purpose. Choose the right time and place. Consider your audience.

2. Confront Collaboratively: Lead with your point. Listen to theirs. Work together on the path forward.

3. Follow Up and Follow Through: Align on expectations. Check back in. Reinforce what’s working.

We also help participants practice real-life scenarios and offer tools for managing emotions, avoiding common pitfalls (such as the dreaded "feedback sandwich," where the tough stuff is buried, and the conversation risks going off the rails), and staying grounded even when things get tense.

Why This Matters, Especially for Women

Although the content applies to everyone, this recent webinar focused on women in the workforce. Why? Because navigating conflict is especially fraught for women, who are often judged more harshly for being assertive. I've spent most of my career in male-dominated spaces, from paramedicine to industry, and I know how hard it can be to speak up.

The truth is, courageous communication is not just about having your say. It’s about building trust, solving problems, and creating workplaces where everyone feels heard. It’s a leadership skill, but it’s also a life skill. 

Ready to Build Your Conflict Confidence?

The Courageous Communications webinar is just the beginning, and I invite you to access the free recording for a primer. And if you're ready to dig deeper, check out Just Lead, Whitewater's leadership development program designed to help managers lead with clarity, care, and courage.

Because avoiding conflict won’t make it go away. But learning to face it with skill? That changes everything.

Janet Currie is a Senior Consultant at Whitewater Consulting.

👉 Download the full 10 Tips guide as a printable PDF. keep it handy for your next tough conversation.